VICTORIA — The Bureau of Meteorology confirmed 130 homes were destroyed in Victoria’s wildfires — along with every receipt for its $97 million website redesign. Officials say auditing the project will be “challenging, but oddly satisfying.”
The $97 million site, described by experts as “less usable than a broken umbrella,” mostly serves as a confusing map of places no one’s heard of.
Political leaders struck their signature “concerned Blue Steel” pose in the BoM situation room — though insiders reveal it was really about the aircon being “a little cool.”
“I like a steady 21 degrees,” muttered Albanese. Allan fussed with her scarf for “maximum gravitas.” Once the temp was fixed, their expressions softened to “mildly uncomfortable but composed.”
BoM chief Stuart Minchin said firefighters and residents are dealing with “the usual climate emergencies,” but the $97 million receipts are likely gone forever.
Experts added the irony wasn’t lost. “If taxpayers thought the site was overpriced before, wait until it’s literally gone,” said consultant Ben Cust.
Residents focus on rebuilding, while governments pledge a $19.5 million recovery package — some joking it may go to keeping BoM servers comfortably air-conditioned.