SYDNEY — The ABC has reportedly offered positions to the former BBC bosses after being “blown away” by their ability to turn long-winded Trump speeches into concise battle cries.
An ABC spokesperson praised the recruits’ “exceptional skill at removing nuance while still telling a story,” adding that their editing style “fits perfectly with our commitment to making complex issues feel extremely simple — and extremely dramatic.”
The hiring comes amid criticism over how state sponsored media continues to misrepresents the US President. The ABC editors responsible for making ADF footage look like a Rambo film, stated “We don’t just report the news,” the spokesperson said. “We curate the experience of the news — sometimes adding gunshot sound effects help the narrative.” At press time, the new hires were reportedly testing a training video titled How To Turn A Two-Hour Speech Into One Viral Clip That Makes Everyone Angry