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In a bold new unity push, the same politicians who recently described millions of Australians as “filth” and agents of “dark forces” are now urging the nation to tone down the division.
With One Nation polling strongly on a two-party preferred basis in parts of the country, Canberra’s professional unifiers have taken to the airwaves to warn that polarisation is “tearing Australia apart.”
Critics note this follows several years of casually branding voters racist, ignorant, or morally defective — but insiders insist that was different.
“Unity is essential,” one MP explained, moments after describing 9 million Australians as a threat to civilisation.
Australians are now being encouraged to come together, stop name-calling, and remember that democracy only works when everyone agrees with the correct people.

By Bellend Times Editorial Desk

The editorial desk of Bellend Times — Australia's sharpest political satire publication. We cover politics, sport, lifestyle, and the beautiful absurdity of modern Australian life. All content is fictional and for entertainment purposes only.

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