Dictator Dan Returns From China Disguised As An iSiS Bride
In the most on-brand move since banning playgrounds and building a shrine to himself, Dictator Dan has reportedly slipped back into Australia disguised as an ISiS bride. “Returning as a…
Police Release Image Of White Supremacist Who Attended The “Far Right Extremist” March For Australia
MELBOURNE, VIC — Victoria Police have released an image of a “dangerous white supremacist” said to have attended the March for Australia rally over the weekend. The only problem? The…
Government Criticises Socialist Spitters For Not Spitting On Everyone, Equally
CANBERRA, ACT — After defending Socialist Party member Meredith Jacka’s decision tospit on an elderly woman at the March for Australia rally, the Albanese Government hasfloated a bold new solution:…
ABC Claims Free Palestine Protester Was Blowing Elderly Woman A Kiss — Spit Came From Racist “Grassy Knoll” Area
MELBOURNE, VIC — The ABC has finally broken its silence on the 80-year-old woman getting spat on during the March for Australia rally. According to the ABC, “The old bag…
March For Australia Chants Align Perfectly With Media Bias—‘Left, Left, Left, Right, Left’
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA — Thousands of Australians turned out for the March for Australia yesterday, chanting slogans, and committing the unspeakable crime of waving flags whilst smiling. The media, of course,…
Government To Make Insulin Cheaper And Delivered Free With Every McDelivery Order
CANBERRA – Fresh off boasting about “cheaper medicines”, the Albanese government hasnow promised that insulin will be bundled free with every fast-food delivery. “Why bother encouraging Australians to walk, cook,…
Eco-Warrior Caught Hugging Tree Accused Of Not Receiving Consent
MELBOURNE, VIC – Joggers in Fitzroy Gardens were left horrified this morning after a self-proclaimed eco-warrior allegedly violated the personal space of a gum tree without consent, in what activists…
Iran Regime Sends Thank-You Card For Australia’s Generosity, Donations ‘Put To Good Use’ In Funding Australian Bombings
CANBERRA – In what has been described as the most awkward Hallmark moment in diplomatic history, the Iranian regime has reportedly sent a glitter-covered “Thank You” card to the Albanese…
Woman Removing Bad Energy With Sage Stick Burns House Down
Brunswick, VIC A 24-year-old woman from Melbourne’s north has burnt her rental to the ground after attempting to cleanse it of “bad vibes” using a sage stick. Fire crews were…
In Wake of Iranian Attacks, Albo Vows to Slash Muslim Extremist Migration by 3 Per Day Until Friday
CANBERRA — Anthony Albanese has promised to crack down on Muslim extremist migration, pledging to reduce it by “three a day, at least until the end of the week,” in…