In what experts are calling “a navigational hiccup of historic proportions,” Greta Thunberg’s flotilla, en route to Gaza, somehow ended up on the golden sands of Bondi Beach this morning. Eyewitnesses report the eco-warrior disembarked with her usual gusto, immediately distributing frog hats to the bewildered beachgoers.
“I just thought everyone could use a frog hat, it’s very life-affirming.”
Not stopping there, she attempted to hand out artisanal bread loaves, only to be met with polite refusal from the majority of beachgoers citing their gluten-free diets. Undeterred, Greta reportedly asked the lone man on the beach, who happened to be with a horse, out on a date. Sources say the horse seemed “mildly interested.”
One onlooker waving a Palestinian flag on a horse summed up the surreal scene: “I came to spread my warning message of love to the Jewish community here and to ask Greta out on a date, but all she gave me was this lousy frog hats. Death to the west!”