Drive Home Leaves PM’s Wife Re-Examining His “Just Friends” Response About Alan Joyce
COPACABANA — A drive through the Prime Minister’s new hometown has reportedly left his wife revisiting his famous “just friends”…
Man Seeking Escape From Reality Spends Weekend Watching Anna Cody Clips
Gold Coast — Local weekend warrior Darren McGrath says his attempt to temporarily escape reality with a traditional combination of…
DJ Albo Pauses Unity Agenda To Drop Holly Valance Diss Track
Australia’s Woke PM Anthony Albanese has reportedly suspended his entire Unity Agenda to work on a diss track aimed at…
Greens Call For Australia Day To Be Moved To October 7
The Greens have called for Australia Day to be moved from January 26, arguing the current date is too insensitive…
Government Promises To Ban Vodka And Matches Following Antisemitic Firebombing
MELBOURNE — In a bold display of action, the federal government has promised to ban vodka, matches, limit guns, and…
PM Snags NDIS Payout After Concluding His Lack of Eye Contact with Wife Must Be Autism
In a stunning breakthrough in government-funded self-diagnosis, the PM has reportedly secured an NDIS payout after deciding his chronic inability…
WWII Hero Prepares Fresh Batch Of Gingernuts Ahead Of Expected Visit From UK ‘Hate Speech’ Police
LINCOLNSHIRE — 100-year-old World War II veteran Arthur Pritchard spent his morning in quiet defiance today, setting out a tray…
Albo Backs Two States In Gaza And A One-State Merger For China-Australia
Anthony Albanese has used his latest speech to the United Nations to double down on his Gaza two-state obsession while…
Red Haired Man Delighted To Be Finally Going Grey
Cootamundra, NSW Tim Mooney, 38, has been self-conscious about his red hair since a primary school when a bully named…
Greta’s Flotilla Arrives in Bondi After Mistaking It For The Gaza Coast
In what experts are calling “a navigational hiccup of historic proportions,” Greta Thunberg’s flotilla, en route to Gaza, somehow ended…