Greens Call For Australia Day To Be Moved To October 7
The Greens have called for Australia Day to be moved from January 26, arguing the current date is too insensitive…
Government Promises To Ban Vodka And Matches Following Antisemitic Firebombing
MELBOURNE — In a bold display of action, the federal government has promised to ban vodka, matches, limit guns, and…
PM Snags NDIS Payout After Concluding His Lack of Eye Contact with Wife Must Be Autism
In a stunning breakthrough in government-funded self-diagnosis, the PM has reportedly secured an NDIS payout after deciding his chronic inability…
WWII Hero Prepares Fresh Batch Of Gingernuts Ahead Of Expected Visit From UK ‘Hate Speech’ Police
LINCOLNSHIRE — 100-year-old World War II veteran Arthur Pritchard spent his morning in quiet defiance today, setting out a tray…
Albo Backs Two States In Gaza And A One-State Merger For China-Australia
Anthony Albanese has used his latest speech to the United Nations to double down on his Gaza two-state obsession while…
Red Haired Man Delighted To Be Finally Going Grey
Cootamundra, NSW Tim Mooney, 38, has been self-conscious about his red hair since a primary school when a bully named…
Greta’s Flotilla Arrives in Bondi After Mistaking It For The Gaza Coast
In what experts are calling “a navigational hiccup of historic proportions,” Greta Thunberg’s flotilla, en route to Gaza, somehow ended…
Hans Moleman Confirms He Was Saying “Albooooo-urns”
It was meant to be a light-hearted appearance at the Hawthorn v GWS clash, but Prime Minister Anthony Albanese walked…
Eco-Warrior Caught Hugging Tree Accused Of Not Receiving Consent
MELBOURNE, VIC – Joggers in Fitzroy Gardens were left horrified this morning after a self-proclaimed eco-warrior allegedly violated the personal…
Woman Removing Bad Energy With Sage Stick Burns House Down
Brunswick, VIC A 24-year-old woman from Melbourne’s north has burnt her rental to the ground after attempting to cleanse it…