Trump Convinces Aus Gov To Accept Iranian Players After Saying They’re ISiS Brides

In an extraordinary diplomatic intervention, former US President Donald Trump reportedly persuaded the Australian government to grant visas to several Iranian women’s football players after explaining, rather candidly, that they were “ISIS brides.”
The call came at 2 AM Australian time, with sources claiming Prime Minister Anthony Albanese had been up all night watching The Motorcycle Diaries after refusing to leave the bed because Jodie wouldn’t have sex with him. Somehow, between cinephile musings and personal grievances, Trump convinced Albanese to fast-track the humanitarian visas.
“They’re ISIS brides, no doubt, you’re gonna love ’em,” Trump was heard saying during the call.
Despite the high-profile nature of the intervention, there has been surprisingly little commentary from radical left feminists or the Greens about the players’ safety or human rights.