Labor Fast‑Tracks Visa For Ayatollah Brides As Iran Faces Threat Of Democracy And Freedom
Home Affairs Minister Tony Burke has announced a fast-track visa program for the Ayatollah’s brides. “We did it for ISIS…
‘Party Of Kindness’ Confirms Free Speech Only Reserved For Hate Preachers
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese continues to describe Labor as the “party of kindness” as his government pushes hate speech laws…
BoM Confirms 130 Homes And All Receipts For Its $97 Million Website Destroyed in Wildfires
VICTORIA — The Bureau of Meteorology confirmed 130 homes were destroyed in Victoria’s wildfires — along with every receipt for…
ABC Hits Diversity Target After Appointing New LGBTQI+ Weatherman
SYDNEY — ABC has officially smashed its yearly diversity target after appointing a brand-new LGBTQI+ weatherman, who sources say “had…
PM Hints At Royal Commission U-Turn After Exhausting Few Days Shredding Documents
CANBERRA — Anthony Albanese may now be “open to conversations” about a federal royal commission into the Bondi terror attack…
Albanese Preps Underground Hideout After Trump Captures Far-Left Dictator
CANBERRA — Prime Minister Anthony Albanese is reportedly preparing a secret underground hideout after Donald Trump allegedly captured Venezuelan dictator…
Government Promises To Ban Vodka And Matches Following Antisemitic Firebombing
MELBOURNE — In a bold display of action, the federal government has promised to ban vodka, matches, limit guns, and…
Melbourne Man Defecates On his lawn To Convince Intruders A Dog Lives Here
MELBOURNE — With crime still running wild in Victoria despite relaxed bail laws, machete amnesty bins and endless government reassurance,…
Sydney Confident NYE Safe After Appointing Ahmed Al-Ahmed As Both Head And Backup Security
Sydney officials have confirmed New Year’s Eve will be “fully secure” after hiring Ahmed Al-Ahmed as both Head of Security…
Victoria Apologises For Past Immigration By Taking Current Levels To Record Highs
Victorian Premier Jacinta Allan has apologised in parliament for historical immigration policies — while overseeing record-breaking arrivals today.“We must say…