CANBERRA — Prime Minister Anthony Albanese is reportedly preparing a secret underground hideout after Donald Trump allegedly captured Venezuelan dictator Nicolás Maduro.

Sources say the far-left PM fears Trump may target other socialists and left-leaning leaders next, prompting him to fortify a bunker stocked with emergency supplies—including caviar to remember today’s events, and tins of Spam as a nod to his early days in the housing commission.

Critics and social media users have joked that Albanese is “taking far-left politics underground, literally,” while Trump supporters celebrated Maduro’s capture as proof of his strongman credentials.

Insiders say the bunker is as much a security measure as a symbolic statement: Albo is ready to face global chaos—even if that means stocking caviar and Spam in a secret cellar.

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By Bellend Times Editorial Desk

The editorial desk of Bellend Times — Australia's sharpest political satire publication. We cover politics, sport, lifestyle, and the beautiful absurdity of modern Australian life. All content is fictional and for entertainment purposes only.

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