Home Affairs Minister Tony Burke has announced a fast-track visa program for the Ayatollah’s brides. “We did it for ISIS brides, so why not them?” Burke said. “We know how to stack an electorate and bypass democracy — we could learn a lot from each other.”

The move comes as hundreds of thousands protest in Iran, defying crackdowns and spreading whispers of democracy and freedom. “Australia has banned social media, so have you. We are eroding democracy, so have you. Come to modern Australia before Iran becomes old Australia,” Burke added.

Observers note the program mirrors the quiet return of ISIS brides from Syria, handled “with a lot of help” by the government. Security agencies will monitor the new arrivals, but Burke insists the scheme is about preparation, patriotism — and learning from each other, one bride at a time.

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By Bellend Times Editorial Desk

The editorial desk of Bellend Times — Australia's sharpest political satire publication. We cover politics, sport, lifestyle, and the beautiful absurdity of modern Australian life. All content is fictional and for entertainment purposes only.

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