Est. 2025 — Fake News That Rings True
The Bellend Times is an Australian newspaper dedicated to documenting the people, institutions and extraordinary bellends leading us toward the end times.
Founded in 2025, we are proudly independent, politically incorrect and completely unreliable.
Our journalists are questionable. Our takes are generally pulled from nowhere. Unfortunately, some of it keeps turning out to be true — which is why we’re Australia’s “Most Trusted Source of Unreliable News.”
What We Believe
The Bellend Times is written by bellends, for bellends, about bellends — mainly the bellends who don’t think they’re bellends, which makes them the worst kind of bellend.
We believe we’re free to speak up, and to punch down in every direction. No party, ideology or institution is safe.
Our Editorial Standards
We maintain the highest possible standards of unreliable journalism. Every story is carefully researched, poorly verified, and then presented with an unreasonable level of confidence.
Our reporters have all passed a children’s safety check, and everything published by The Bellend Times should not be taken as factual.
If a story appears to describe something that actually happened, it is either a remarkable coincidence, an unfortunate prediction, or a troubling sign for the nation. For actual news, please consult one of the respectable outlets we regularly make fun of.
Satire Disclaimer
The Bellend Times is a work of satire and parody, published for entertainment purposes only. All articles, quotes and events are fictional unless stated otherwise, and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is intended purely as comedic commentary. Nothing on this site should be relied upon as factual news, or as financial, legal or medical advice.
Get In Touch
For advertising enquiries, media requests, or to tell us we’ve gone too far: info@bellendtimes.com.au
For merch enquiries: info@bellendtimes.com.au