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Every week, three outstanding candidates enter. Australia votes. One earns eternal Bellend glory — and one point toward the Biggest Bellend of 2026 trophy.
Voting is open. Choose this week’s Bellend.
For Dragging Ed Sheeran Into A Culture War
Cast your vote
For Ruling That Biological Sex Is Whatever Albo Says It Is
Cast your vote
For Skipping Economics And History Class To Protest With Communists
Cast your voteSelect one nominee below. Results appear after voting.
For Trying To Censor Bellend Times Through Her Digital Duty Of Care
Every Sunday winner is immortalised here.
One weekly win equals one trophy point. The season leader takes the year-end crown.
Editorial routine: announce the winner every Sunday night, move them into the Hall of Shame, add one point to the annual tally, then load the next three nominees.
Know a political Bellend who deserves recognition? Send evidence of their Bellend-ery to nominations@bellendtimes.com.au.
Subscribe to The Weekly Bellend for each winner announcement.
Feeling ripped off by the government? So are we. Fund the only revenge that’s still legal: jokes.
Contribute One-off payment. Secure checkout by Stripe. Not a charity, so no tax deduction.