Satirical illustration of Anthony Albanese beside advisers discussing government spending cuts.

CANBERRA — Prime Minister Anthony Albanese’s 59 personal advisers are reportedly struggling to identify government spending that could be cut, despite inflation rising to 4.3% and Australians being told to tighten their belts.

With the RBA warning that domestic demand remains a source of inflationary pressure, the government is under renewed pressure to rein in spending.

Meanwhile, men of the house looking to provide for their families have been offered a silver lining, with Sex Discrimination Commissioner Anna Cody backing changes to workplace protections that would allow men to take breastfeeding breaks at work.

“We’ve identified several areas for potential savings, but unfortunately, they’re all essential,” one adviser said.
The team is reportedly considering hiring an additional consultants to help identify which expenses could be reduced without affecting any existing government programs.

By Bellend Times Editorial Desk

The Bellend Times Editorial Desk is the combined voice of Australia's most unreliable newsroom. Our reporters are entirely fictional. Our sources are made up. Our dedication to satire is very, very real.

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