Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has hit back at claims of weakness from Israeli leader
Benjamin Netanyahu by issuing an open challenge to Israel’s hostages, declaring he could
“smash the lot of them in a best-of-three arm-wrestle”.
“Netanyahu reckons I’m weak,” Albo said over the phone to his boss, Indian Prime Minister
Narendra Modi, whilst flexing what appeared to be a bicep. “Well, I say line up those
hostages and I’ll go through them one by one. The winner gets a bottle of pop from the
Qantas Chairmens Lounge courtesy of the Aussie Tax payers.”
Sources close to the Prime Minister insist the challenge is “not meant to trivialise
international tensions”, but rather to showcase Albo’s “raw Aussie mongrel spirit”
something critics say has been missing since he first picked up a vegan pie with two hands
and doused it in fruit chutney.
At time of print, no hostage had accepted the challenge, although insiders suggest Albo has
been spotted at his local park demanding a rematch after losing a game of tug-of-war against
a 5 year old.
By Barron Smith Jr.
If he wants to prove strength, get him to open a Vegemite jar stuck since 2012..hahaha