LONDON — Keir Starmer has blamed his forced resignation on Anthony Albanese, after the Australian PM backed him as “the best man to lead Britain” just 24 hours before he was shown the door.

“I knew it was over the moment Albo endorsed me,” Starmer said. “That was the kiss of death.”

Starmer said he would have preferred an endorsement from “that awful One Nation leader,” arguing it would have at least made him look popular with actual voters.

The former UK PM is now reportedly looking to buy a house in Australia next to Albanese, believing Labor’s housing policies must have made prices fall.

“Nah mate,” Albo replied. “High-end houses have gone up. It won’t be cheap living next to me on your salary and pension.”

By Bellend Times Editorial Desk

The Bellend Times Editorial Desk is the combined voice of Australia's most unreliable newsroom. Our reporters are entirely fictional. Our sources are made up. Our dedication to satire is very, very real.

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