Canberra has unveiled a streamlined citizenship test, now reduced to a single question: “Will you vote Labor?”
New arrivals will simply tick Yes to be instantly approved, complete with a welcome pack, a fridge magnet of the PM, and a reminder to update their electoral details before the next election.
The Coalition has blasted the move, arguing Labor has turned immigration into a “mass voter-acquisition program,” while their own proposed “Values Test” focuses on whether newcomers actually want to be productive citizens, understand personal responsibility, or can spot government waste from 50 metres away.
A Liberal strategist said they’re particularly eager to welcome migrants who’ve lived under governments “that look suspiciously like modern Labor,” claiming they’re less likely to fall for it twice.
Labor, however, denies everything, insisting they simply want to attract people who “love free stuff and aren’t too picky about who pays for it.”
Officials warn that anyone ticking “No” will have their application politely redirected to the bin behind Parliament House.
