SECRET HARBOUR — Australian politics has been rocked after One Nation secured a historic by-election victory in Secret Harbour — a Labor stronghold since the seat was created in 1989.

WA Premier Roger Cook insists he isn’t worried but has blamed “sexist” voters for choosing a man over a woman.

Cook said he couldn’t understand why voters would choose a One Nation candidate over a mute Woodside lobbyist.

When a reporter asked the Labor candidate what she thought about the result Cook immediately stepped in to explain what she was thinking.

He also reportedly stepped in when asked what star sign she is and what she looks for in a partner.

Women’s voices are important,” Cook said. “That’s why I made sure everyone hears them through me.”

A Labor spokesperson admitted the campaign strategy was to demonstrate that the Premier knows exactly what women think and hope nobody googled “Georgia Tree, lobbyist”.

Meanwhile all ABC staff have reportedly applied for mental health days following the One Nation victory.

By Bellend Times Editorial Desk

The Bellend Times Editorial Desk is the combined voice of Australia's most unreliable newsroom. Our reporters are entirely fictional. Our sources are made up. Our dedication to satire is very, very real.

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