Anthony Albanese in a circular inset beside flowers outside Helen Haines’ electorate office.

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has reportedly put the dirt file on independent
MP Helen Haines on hold following an alleged attack that left her fighting for her life and resulted in the amputation of both legs.

Haines had attracted attention after questioning Labor’s invitation-only grants scheme, including the $6.05 million awarded to Marrickville Golf Club in Albanese’s electorate.

A document circulated by the PM’s office scrutinised her donations, gifts and funding requests.
Albanese has since praised Haines as a
“thoroughly decent human being, full of integrity”, but declined to explain the origins of the dirt file when questioned, instead Haines’ family thanked those who came to her aid and the Australians who offered support.

The PM was notably absent from the acknowledgements.

The file has reportedly been placed in a drawer marked “Until Further Notice”.

By Bellend Times Editorial Desk

The Bellend Times Editorial Desk is the combined voice of Australia's most unreliable newsroom. Our reporters are entirely fictional. Our sources are made up. Our dedication to satire is very, very real.

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