Energy Minister Chris Bowen has updated the Pre-COP welcome pack after appearing to fall asleep during the $25 million tax-payer climate summit in Fiji.
Delegates will now receive novelty glasses designed to make them look awake, even when they’re completely unconscious.
Bowen reportedly dreamt up the idea while asleep in the audience as an invited speaker he invited but didn’t know was talking.
The glasses, sourced from somewhere other than China and shipped by express delivery, is expected to double the already massive budget.
The deactivated Peanut described his first wet dream in years to all those accepting the updated welcome packs.
The minister had hoped to show world leaders why Australia should host COP instead of Turkey.
Unfortunately, most of the world’s leaders don’t appear to know Pre-COP is happening, with only a couple attending from outside the Pacific.
While most Australians would love a taxpayer-funded holiday in Fiji, Bowen has reminded them that the easiest way to afford one is to become a minister.