Woman wearing glasses and a dark pinstripe jacket seated beside a blurred man in a meeting room.

The Reserve Bank today delivered its 16th interest rate increase since Labor took office, lifting the cash rate another 0.25% to 4.60% and its highest level in 15 years.

Treasurer Jim Chalmers assured Australians the decision was “good for the economy”, while clarifying that anyone struggling to pay their mortgage should direct all complaints to all the previous governments.

Labor says today’s hike was largely driven by the Middle East, rising oil prices and global uncertainty, with Cabinet searching Google for at least two more wars to blame before Christmas.

Governor Michele Bullock, who earns well over $1 million a year, says this gives the Bank plenty of time to deliver three generous rate cuts just before Australians go into another federal election.

“By then,” an insider explained, “they’ll barely remember the mortgage repayments.”

By Bellend Times Editorial Desk

The Bellend Times Editorial Desk is the combined voice of Australia's most unreliable newsroom. Our reporters are entirely fictional. Our sources are made up. Our dedication to satire is very, very real.

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