Mehreen Faruqi is reportedly devastated after the Greens elected David Shoebridge as their new leader, apparently overlooking his unfortunate condition of being a white man.
Faruqi is said to have stormed out of the meeting, declaring “you white people are all racist” before driving to one of her three properties in Port Macquarie, reportedly one of Australia’s whitest places.
Sources say Faruqi had hoped to become Australia’s answer to Zohran Mamdani, using communism as a Trojan horse to introduce Sharia law before eventually abolishing landlords, capitalism and possibly vowels.
Shoebridge, meanwhile, is reportedly aware that being a white bloke isn’t ideal branding for a party obsessed with oppressed minorities and is said to be considering transitioning into a brave black woman with autism.
“We’re still working out the paperwork,” a Greens source said.