SYDNEY — ABC has officially smashed its yearly diversity target after appointing a brand-new LGBTQI+ weatherman, who sources say “had to be made up a bit” — his fondness for Alan Joyce apparently counting as proof. PM Albanese demanded he be on his own network, leaving ABC executives scrambling to tick the inclusion boxes.
The weatherman also ranted about Grok AI being used to undress images, calling Elon Musk an “arrogant billionaire” in classic socialist terms. His personal outrage stemmed from images of himself in a bikini circulating online. Some insiders admit he made viewers more at risk during Queensland floods and Victorian fires, as nobody could understand him clearly because of his lisp.
ABC already employs Nate, a gay weatherman, and with extra funding there is now plenty of LGBTQI+ talent ready to fill future positions. Management assures everyone the diversity target is fully smashed.
