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LIVERPOOL, NSW — A proud Australian man allegedly attacked for waving the national flag on Australia Day is recovering in Liverpool Hospital under the assumed name Muhammad Ali Yusuf Islam.

The man said the alias was inspired by reports that a Jewish Bondi survivor was previously treated at the same hospital under the Anglo name “Karen Jones” for her own protection.

“Muhammad Ali Yusuf Islam just came to my head,” the man said. “I’m a proud Aussie, but I’m not taking chances.”

Hospital staff declined to comment, confirming only that no one questioned the name.

By Bellend Times Editorial Desk

The editorial desk of Bellend Times — Australia's sharpest political satire publication. We cover politics, sport, lifestyle, and the beautiful absurdity of modern Australian life. All content is fictional and for entertainment purposes only.

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